1. a boyfriend i was never expecting, who shows me at once how far i've come and how much i still have to grow.
2. art, literature and theater - driving forces in my life that seem to be coming more and more into focus after my somewhat confused time in high school and college. what thoughts were bits and pieces in my head while i developed photos in the darkroom, read shakespeare, watched double suicide, or listened to professor marra lecture are all starting to take solid form. today, discovering lee miller and man ray's relentless love for her at the legion of honor just seemed to bring everything together.
my somewhat newly discovered drive and the reasons behind it are something i'm hesitant to declare, since making the declaration puts me on the line for failure. it makes the feelings and thoughts i have for him so much more real, since i have no doubt that what i feel when i'm with him is exactly why the love man ray had for lee miller touched me so much. i want to love that way, and i want to be loved that way. i want to be the creative, beautiful, courageous heroine in my own life.
and i think for the first time in 25 years, i'm not afraid to really try.
