Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
I started reading a book called Memento Mori by Muriel Spark a couple of days ago, and realized how poor my memory is and how much I take everything for granted. This is a discovery I make about once a week, but since it seems like my life is about to change drastically in the next couple of days, I thought I'd write something down in a way that probably isn't interesting to anyone besides myself.
The rest of this is pretty much a short-lived expression of that realization.
We do everything we do for ourselves, right? And then we live the rest of our lives apologizing for being that selfish. I don't think I could ever have children. :D well, that and Klamydia can cause infertility.
at any rate...
this stay-at-home-nothing will soon be...a... never-at-home-something-in-training.
I'm going to taiwan!
I will endeavor to pack like Keiko and bring only the necessities:
money.
money for dessert.
Because my going to taiwan happened so suddenly, things have been pretty hectic around the Chung household. But, things have also been pretty good.
the YAYBLES FOIBLES of the past month and last 24 hours!
DEC 8:
I had the longest phone interview of my life. It was also the second phone interview I've ever had. I was told that should I get the job I'm applying for I would probably fail miserably for months before things started getting better.
I was also informed of the fact that had I applied to just about any other company in Taiwan, I would not have even gotten an interview because I'm ethnic Chinese.
Interviewer: How would you answer a parent who came up to you and asked, "You're chinese. Why should I trust you to teach my child English?"
Me: I have a BA in English from UCLA and was born and raised in the USA.
Interviewer: That'll do.
All in all it was a humbling, eye-opening experience. I mean, it's one thing to know in your head that you probably wouldn't do very well at a job without extensive training and practice, but it's a whole other thing to have someone tell you that straight up, then realize point by point how you had answered each hypothetical situation question incorrectly, and then have all of your fears and insecurities confirmed. I was drowning in that sensation for the better part of that phone interview. I felt like a loser afterwards, but so what. I'm going to have a chance to learn how to do everything the right way, and find the way that works best for me.
It shocked me out of my depressive funk.
DEC 13:
My brother's birthday! We had a duck meal at a Chinese restaurant and then bought guitar hero world tour. I now worship Ozzie Osbourne.
DEC 15:
My father had set up our artificial Christmas tree a couple of days back, but we hadn't decorated it yet. My brother promptly disassembled it and put it back in the closet. This act marks the first time my brother has ever put something away of his own volition.
I do not feel the loss of our 20-year-old fake Christmas tree. Ozzie is my new Santa idol and he possesses the power of ROCK, which is infinitely less creepy than the ability to know when I am sleeping and to know when I am awake.
DEC 17:
I got the Taiwan job offer, which told me to be in Taiwan by 1/4/2009. I freaked the fuck out because I hate filling out paperwork and have to plan a sudden year-long trip to Taiwan. I also realized that my family does not own a printer/scanner/fax machine, which is essential for filling out said paperwork and getting it back to the office. Kinko's is my new best friend.
During this time, I also decided that I couldn't cope with the reality of being in Taiwan in two weeks, so I spent a substantial amount of time running away from reality by watching the House marathons on USA Network.
DEC 19:
After much freaking out I realized that I could just type in the forms and email stuff back. wow I'm retarded. In my defense, the note that came with the forms said that they were security locked and could not be altered, but I should have tried first, anyways.
I spent most of the 19-24 filling out forms, scanning and sending forms, writing emails to try to figure out whether or not I'd get my fucking diploma, ordering transcripts, getting a visa, and getting a criminal record check.
Time has been strange to me. When I sit there unable to work on my forms, just waiting for a reply from my advisor, I feel like time is passing by agonizingly slowly, like I should be able to get more done, snatch that bullet from the air and hit the ground running. And yet, I count the number of days I have left before I have to go...and there aren't enough to see what who I want to see and etch everyone and everything into memory.
I already know I need to come back to the US after this. I won't be staying in Taiwan forever.
Half Asian and Half American. One foot on either side of the ocean.
DEC 20-22:
I got to see the notorious K K K K + Preston (Kheng couldn't be there, though, because she's in freaking THAILAND and JAPAN), of which I am now a part, as the fifth K, Klamydia. (and for sure, Kacey, it would be an AWESOME name if it weren't a STD). Poor Kacey was sick. Maybe she has an STD as well.
They arrived at my house the evening of the 19 and stayed until the 22. The weather was great on Saturday, but dreary on Sunday. I have found that I am hopeless at using public transportation because I lack a sense of direction and get dizzy when I look at maps. My dad was furious when he found out we hadn't been able to make it to the Golden Gate Bridge, and commanded me to tell my friends that he would personally conduct us to the bridge on the morning of the 22nd. The weather was glorious!! It had just rained, so the entire city looked fresh and clean. We could see the SF skyline and the Bay Bridge in perfect detail.
DEC 23:
We found out that we're getting the Lexus back, just in time for me to not be able to use it. The car insurance company money also came through. YAY! Although, getting ready for this trip would have been much easier to accomplish if I had had access to a car.
DEC 25:
Went on a quest to satisfy an In-n-Out craving. Quickly realized that it was Christmas and that the city was dead. Returned home after a pointless drive. It was still nice to be able to sit in a car, though.
Cars are soothing. When we were kids, my parents used to take us around the block in the car if we had trouble sleeping.
DEC 26:
Did NOT go shopping.
Just kidding. Went to In-n-Out and then Best Buy, where my brother bought my dad Serenity and bought me a new Shuffle charger, because I stepped on the one it came with and broke it. He kept offering to buy me a new camera since I'd left my old one in LA by hangover-accident, and since my camera kinda sucks ass.
Didn't take it though. I love to spoil myself, and I think I'll buy an SLR when I've finally earned enough money. That and my parents didn't like the idea of my getting a new camera, since I have one that works.
My dad loves Serenity, but was kinda disappointed, since he knew that accepting the $10 DVD from my brother would mean that he would forfeit the $100 for his pigeon fund, which he would have otherwise received.
DEC 27:
Took Chris back to SF after having DimSum in Daly City, which he paid for, and then met up with high school friends. I couldn't handle the awkwardness and downed 20oz of beer in true alcoholic style. Had the beer in place of a meal.
Hanging out with people can be so draining. I just get so tired of trying to smile, but if I stop trying, then I'll lose it completely and just start to crumble.
DEC 28:
Saw another high school friend, and crammed four days' worth of hang-out activities into one afternoon. we watched Bedtime Stories, which was really cute. He drives a SLK convertible and he showed up with the top down. When I got in, I tried to stick my head out the side, and ended up slamming my face into the glass window...which I hadn't realized was there. He laughed at me for 2 minutes before pulling out of my driveway.
6 hours ago: Caught my leg in the convertible door when i was trying to get out. I HATE SLK's. I don't care how cute they are.
5 hours ago: Patched things up with a friend.
am now trying to pack everything i care about into a suitcase.
The rest of this is pretty much a short-lived expression of that realization.
We do everything we do for ourselves, right? And then we live the rest of our lives apologizing for being that selfish. I don't think I could ever have children. :D well, that and Klamydia can cause infertility.
at any rate...
this stay-at-home-nothing will soon be...a... never-at-home-something-in-training.
I'm going to taiwan!
I will endeavor to pack like Keiko and bring only the necessities:
money.
money for dessert.
Because my going to taiwan happened so suddenly, things have been pretty hectic around the Chung household. But, things have also been pretty good.
the YAYBLES FOIBLES of the past month and last 24 hours!
DEC 8:
I had the longest phone interview of my life. It was also the second phone interview I've ever had. I was told that should I get the job I'm applying for I would probably fail miserably for months before things started getting better.
I was also informed of the fact that had I applied to just about any other company in Taiwan, I would not have even gotten an interview because I'm ethnic Chinese.
Interviewer: How would you answer a parent who came up to you and asked, "You're chinese. Why should I trust you to teach my child English?"
Me: I have a BA in English from UCLA and was born and raised in the USA.
Interviewer: That'll do.
All in all it was a humbling, eye-opening experience. I mean, it's one thing to know in your head that you probably wouldn't do very well at a job without extensive training and practice, but it's a whole other thing to have someone tell you that straight up, then realize point by point how you had answered each hypothetical situation question incorrectly, and then have all of your fears and insecurities confirmed. I was drowning in that sensation for the better part of that phone interview. I felt like a loser afterwards, but so what. I'm going to have a chance to learn how to do everything the right way, and find the way that works best for me.
It shocked me out of my depressive funk.
DEC 13:
My brother's birthday! We had a duck meal at a Chinese restaurant and then bought guitar hero world tour. I now worship Ozzie Osbourne.
DEC 15:
My father had set up our artificial Christmas tree a couple of days back, but we hadn't decorated it yet. My brother promptly disassembled it and put it back in the closet. This act marks the first time my brother has ever put something away of his own volition.
I do not feel the loss of our 20-year-old fake Christmas tree. Ozzie is my new Santa idol and he possesses the power of ROCK, which is infinitely less creepy than the ability to know when I am sleeping and to know when I am awake.
DEC 17:
I got the Taiwan job offer, which told me to be in Taiwan by 1/4/2009. I freaked the fuck out because I hate filling out paperwork and have to plan a sudden year-long trip to Taiwan. I also realized that my family does not own a printer/scanner/fax machine, which is essential for filling out said paperwork and getting it back to the office. Kinko's is my new best friend.
During this time, I also decided that I couldn't cope with the reality of being in Taiwan in two weeks, so I spent a substantial amount of time running away from reality by watching the House marathons on USA Network.
DEC 19:
After much freaking out I realized that I could just type in the forms and email stuff back. wow I'm retarded. In my defense, the note that came with the forms said that they were security locked and could not be altered, but I should have tried first, anyways.
I spent most of the 19-24 filling out forms, scanning and sending forms, writing emails to try to figure out whether or not I'd get my fucking diploma, ordering transcripts, getting a visa, and getting a criminal record check.
Time has been strange to me. When I sit there unable to work on my forms, just waiting for a reply from my advisor, I feel like time is passing by agonizingly slowly, like I should be able to get more done, snatch that bullet from the air and hit the ground running. And yet, I count the number of days I have left before I have to go...and there aren't enough to see what who I want to see and etch everyone and everything into memory.
I already know I need to come back to the US after this. I won't be staying in Taiwan forever.
Half Asian and Half American. One foot on either side of the ocean.
DEC 20-22:
I got to see the notorious K K K K + Preston (Kheng couldn't be there, though, because she's in freaking THAILAND and JAPAN), of which I am now a part, as the fifth K, Klamydia. (and for sure, Kacey, it would be an AWESOME name if it weren't a STD). Poor Kacey was sick. Maybe she has an STD as well.
They arrived at my house the evening of the 19 and stayed until the 22. The weather was great on Saturday, but dreary on Sunday. I have found that I am hopeless at using public transportation because I lack a sense of direction and get dizzy when I look at maps. My dad was furious when he found out we hadn't been able to make it to the Golden Gate Bridge, and commanded me to tell my friends that he would personally conduct us to the bridge on the morning of the 22nd. The weather was glorious!! It had just rained, so the entire city looked fresh and clean. We could see the SF skyline and the Bay Bridge in perfect detail.
DEC 23:
We found out that we're getting the Lexus back, just in time for me to not be able to use it. The car insurance company money also came through. YAY! Although, getting ready for this trip would have been much easier to accomplish if I had had access to a car.
DEC 25:
Went on a quest to satisfy an In-n-Out craving. Quickly realized that it was Christmas and that the city was dead. Returned home after a pointless drive. It was still nice to be able to sit in a car, though.
Cars are soothing. When we were kids, my parents used to take us around the block in the car if we had trouble sleeping.
DEC 26:
Did NOT go shopping.
Just kidding. Went to In-n-Out and then Best Buy, where my brother bought my dad Serenity and bought me a new Shuffle charger, because I stepped on the one it came with and broke it. He kept offering to buy me a new camera since I'd left my old one in LA by hangover-accident, and since my camera kinda sucks ass.
Didn't take it though. I love to spoil myself, and I think I'll buy an SLR when I've finally earned enough money. That and my parents didn't like the idea of my getting a new camera, since I have one that works.
My dad loves Serenity, but was kinda disappointed, since he knew that accepting the $10 DVD from my brother would mean that he would forfeit the $100 for his pigeon fund, which he would have otherwise received.
DEC 27:
Took Chris back to SF after having DimSum in Daly City, which he paid for, and then met up with high school friends. I couldn't handle the awkwardness and downed 20oz of beer in true alcoholic style. Had the beer in place of a meal.
Hanging out with people can be so draining. I just get so tired of trying to smile, but if I stop trying, then I'll lose it completely and just start to crumble.
DEC 28:
Saw another high school friend, and crammed four days' worth of hang-out activities into one afternoon. we watched Bedtime Stories, which was really cute. He drives a SLK convertible and he showed up with the top down. When I got in, I tried to stick my head out the side, and ended up slamming my face into the glass window...which I hadn't realized was there. He laughed at me for 2 minutes before pulling out of my driveway.
6 hours ago: Caught my leg in the convertible door when i was trying to get out. I HATE SLK's. I don't care how cute they are.
5 hours ago: Patched things up with a friend.
am now trying to pack everything i care about into a suitcase.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
oh purple sweet potato
deeper than taro
and a hue more true
than eggplant
oh purple sweet potato
the mark of my teeth
is still imprinted
in your soft, sweet
flesh.
there's ginger tea in the calla lily cup because i officially feel like crap. my head's stuffed and the spot where my wisdom tooth used to be is all swelled up.
droopy. the eighth dwarf that hid in the cottage shadows.
i wish i had a princess to save,
or just an ideal to love.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
last weekend
finally got to visit my friend!
we ended up going to oakland chinatown for the first time - it is the cleanest chinatown i've ever seen...excluding the one i saw in japan.
there were lots of kids, all of whom looked very happy.
we had about three hours to kill before her roommate could meet us for dinner, so we decided to walk from 9th street in oakland all the way back to berkeley.
telegraph is a fucking long road. i now see jesus in a completely new light. he must have been one freaking fit prophet, which probably helped his popularity.
i can never seem to get drunk when i go to berkeley, but that's okay. the company more than made up for it.
we ended up seeing Australia. all of the women swooned when hugh jackman's face filled the screen.
we ended up going to oakland chinatown for the first time - it is the cleanest chinatown i've ever seen...excluding the one i saw in japan.
there were lots of kids, all of whom looked very happy.
we had about three hours to kill before her roommate could meet us for dinner, so we decided to walk from 9th street in oakland all the way back to berkeley.
telegraph is a fucking long road. i now see jesus in a completely new light. he must have been one freaking fit prophet, which probably helped his popularity.
i can never seem to get drunk when i go to berkeley, but that's okay. the company more than made up for it.
we ended up seeing Australia. all of the women swooned when hugh jackman's face filled the screen.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
this time it's my dog
my dog's no lexus. he's not refined or dignified or luxurious. he's just a rompadilly gluttonous manipulative JACK.
but i love him.
look he's eating that pig ear so fast that he's blurry.
anyways, this time a bird decided to poop on him while he was out taking a walk. my mom's standing right next to him, and there's tons of open concrete all around him, but the dropping just falls smack in the middle of his back. white liquid with a black, solid center - kinda like a chocolate truffle, i guess. poop colored to match. even when shat on, my dog is stylish.
does this bode well for the chungs?
apparently so, because my parents found someone who's willing to fix the car and hound the insurance company for the money that should cover the damages.
yay doggles.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
So depressed
my goldfish died today.
on their way in today, my dad shouted, "i'm going to be rich!" i glanced at the still totaled Lexus in our driveway, and then looked at my mom.
"he stepped in dog shit today. and none of the garages will look at our car. no one's willing to fix it."
he'd bought the Lexus with his first big paycheck from the software company he'd worked for 10 years ago. since then that company has gone under because the base of their product had been stolen from a rival company.
great weather today, though.
it's time for the holidays.
on their way in today, my dad shouted, "i'm going to be rich!" i glanced at the still totaled Lexus in our driveway, and then looked at my mom.
"he stepped in dog shit today. and none of the garages will look at our car. no one's willing to fix it."
he'd bought the Lexus with his first big paycheck from the software company he'd worked for 10 years ago. since then that company has gone under because the base of their product had been stolen from a rival company.
great weather today, though.
it's time for the holidays.
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