it's 7am and i can feel my breath congeal against my face mask. moist air on one side, pollution on the other.
having sex seems to mean so much more here than it does anywhere else.
a cabbie picks me up on the corner.
"i thought the foreigner would be getting in the car, too"
i shake my head no.
"he's your..." he prompts, but i know what he's thinking. my hair is disheveled, my eyes are bleary, i smell like alcohol.
i know what he is thinking. the people who had seen me on the curb had been thinking the same thing.
"he's my co-worker. i'm an english teacher."
but it's not true, what you're thinking, i go on, justifying my actions. it's commonplace in america, this type of thing. it's okay, because i'm american too, and this is what happens in America.
because i'm american too.
it doesn't matter that nothing happened last night. that he was a white boy who wanted to be jerked off, while i laid in bed next to him with all my clothes on.
the cabbie knows what happened.
he looks at my face.
"you speak chinese well. lots of ABC's, they come back, and they can't speak a word."
"thanks."
he looks at me in the rearview mirror again.
i look at him.
he speaks a few lines of taiwanese.
"you didn't understand what i just said?"
"no," i say. "didn't understand any of it at all."
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3 comments:
i'm confused too, but nonetheless I LOVE YOU MORE THAN A FAT KID (ME) LOVES CAKE!!!!!! I MISS YOU!! come home for valentine's day, yea?
I find it so amusing that you had to justify yourself to the cab driver. And what is up with your co-worker?! Anyways...COME HOME TO ME WOMAN!
i like the way you write. it sounds like a story for sure, even though it's your life. i think of my life like that. as a story too. i wish i were in the cab with you!!
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